A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and hard to forget.

Monday, February 10th, 2014

Ever since I moved to Florida I have been learning all about long distance friendships. I’m used to the long distance relationships with date night Skype dates and cutsey love posts on social media to let your significant other know you’re thinking about them, but this is my first real struggle to learn the ins and outs of keeping up strong friendships despite the distance. I heard that quote “when things get tough you learn who your real friends are” constantly growing up but I never thought I would be the one saying that eventually. Because being down here in Florida really has taught me who my “real friends” are. The people who text me from time to time asking how I’m doing, send me loving Snapchats with capital letter messages of “I MISS YOU!” or “I WISH YOU WERE HERE”, the Facebook messages asking when I’m coming home to visit next… It may sound like stupid things but to someone who goes from living in a place surrounded by these people daily to all of a sudden living in a place with nobody you know, these things mean a lot. Yes, life does go on, and people do continue their lives without you. Of course I don’t expect the whole world to pause in Maryland because I am gone. Of course I don’t expect to hear from people daily. The whole dynamic of my friendships had to change and we are learning how to adapt to this long distance. 

I guess over all I’m just surprised as to who has been keeping in touch with me and who hasn’t. People who I would never go more than 24 hours without talking to have disappeared and people who I hung out with sparingly but still considered friends surprise me with their messages. I am thankful for these people because they have been helping me heal, so to speak, from the end of deep friendships that I thought would last the distance.

And you may be wanting to tell me “don’t forget friendship goes both ways”. Yes I do understand that. Don’t think I haven’t tried. Sending texts with “hope you’re having a great day! love you <3”,  “Good luck with school this week, you’re a fantastic person”, or Facebook posts with cute pictures or links to fun websites also with a “This makes me miss you more! Can’t wait to see you whenever I come home”  get old after awhile when they don’t get answered or just get a quick “like” and then are passed over. I think what hurts the most is when you can see (from all of today’s social media) that not only are you being ignored but you are also being slowly replaced.

I guess today I just needed to vent one of the small struggles of being a military wife and being far away from home.

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4 comments on “A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and hard to forget.

  1. I moved away from home almost two years ago now and this I can relate to everything. It really is true, when you deal with long distance friendships, it’s always comes as a surprise who your ‘real’ friends are, and it’s usually not who you expect them to be.
    -A

  2. Five years ago my best friend moved to the other side of the world. Its been difficult and we haven’t been able to talk much but he is still my best friend. One thing you have to accept is that they are busy with their own lives just like you are.

    Sometimes you might not be able to talk for a while but if you are genuine friends the length of time between conversations won’t matter. Your friendship will just continue from where you left it even if it has been 3 months since you last spoke.

    • bholdridge13 says:

      I agree with what you’re saying. However some of these people that I’m referring to have treated me differently since I’ve left. For example, one person has pretty much been refusing to talk to me until one of my other friends came to visit and then I got offended text messages like “why didn’t you invite me to visit you” or “where was my plane ticket?”… It’s frustrating trying to keep a friendship when all you’re getting back is attitude and a guilt trip.

      • Ahhh I see. All I can suggest is having a long conversation with them about everything. Its sad to say but moving away is a good method of finding out who your real friends are.

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